Transformation Soup - Sark

You know what I like about Sark?  Or one of the things, I should say: she doesn't act like she's perfect and like she knows how to do it all.  She's a regular person, like you, like me.  With faults and imperfections and who has made mistakes and will undoubtedly make more.  Like you...Like me.  Like all of us - which is perhaps what we all truly have in common.

This book is about her year dedicated to healing, and to transformation.  There are little nuggets in here, little gems, that are truly inspiring.  For example:

Let's just all realize and admit that the pain never ends and go on brilliantly anyway.  *Brilliantly, in this case, means: despite all forms of wanting to quit.
Let's realize that to experience our lives intimately means to be off-balance, out of control, and subject to all sorts of fragile and tender emotions.
We might say, "Then why do it?  Why not hide, avoid, resist, anesthetize, refuse, neglect, lie, work harder, gain more control, get more money, seek more escapes, and live in denial?"
You'll do all of these anyway and the pain just waits for another entry point.


But this isn't a book that focuses on pain.  A little further on the same page:

Joy is tougher to accept than pain.  Isn't this a curious paradox.  We are often more comfortable with pain and struggle because it's familiar.


Wow.

Yeah...good stuff.  Sark: I like you.

The Thinker's Way - John Chaffee, Ph.D.

Hi, The Thinker's Way.  Have a seat - are you comfortable?  Um...this is kind of awkward...but we need to talk.  I know that you have been so good and so patient, waiting around on that bookshelf for all of these years, just waiting for me to get to you.  Waiting for your turn.  And now it's here!  And it's wonderful!  And it's great!  But - I think we're just not going to work out.  What I'm saying is, I think I want to read other books.  No - no - it's not you, really, it's me.  Completely me.

We started out so well, it's true.  You were talking about how there seem to be less critical thinking skills today - or at least in our news and media.  And I couldn't agree more!  We are surrounded by sound bytes and data snippets, pieces of facts which are then surrounded by opinion.  And that's not critical thinking!  That's not looking at information, digging deep, knowing your sources, forming your own conclusions...not at all.

And when you said that learning to think critically can lead to clearer goals in your life and greater chances of attaining them...Again, I agree.  And being creative!  I like what you said about how "being creative" doesn't have to mean "being an artist."  I really enjoyed this paragraph about that.

Whenever you are investing your own unique ideas, you are being creative.  When you develop a new recipe or dance in your own distinctive style, you are being creative, as you are when you stimulate original thinking in your children or make your friends laugh with your singular brand of humor.  Living your life creatively means bringing your unique perspective and creative talents to all the dimensions of your life.  Creativity is not an add-on, something extra that you have to find time for in your busy life.  Instead, creativity is a better, richer, more productive approach to doing what you are already doing.  It's braided seamlessly into your life, not a bow that's added on for decoration.


That's brilliant!  I love it!  But I'm only a quarter of the way through, and I'm just not feeling this relationship.  Like I said, it's me.  I'm really close to the end of the unread bookshelf, and I'm probably anxious to move on.  So don't take it personally...I know that the right reader will come along.

The Bodacious Book of Succulence - Sark

Gosh, I don't even know how long I've had this book. I bought 4 of her books or so, without first reading any. Oh, those were the crazy days...

This is a fun, creative, interactive book about realizing how wonderful and amazing we all are in our imperfections. And how richer we would all be if we stopped trying to hide our succulence underneath our facades. It's a pretty fun book...and yet it touched on some pretty serious topics.

I was particularly touched by and able to relate to the part about death, and how you get thrown into the "death club" whether you like it or not when you lose someone close to you. Yup...that's true.

Anyway - a fun book that'll make you think. Check it out.

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy - David D. Burns, MD

This book was originally written in 1980, when cognitive therapy was truly ground-breaking.  And that's what this book is about: cognitive therapy, how to use it and how powerful it can be.  I have had this book for probably over ten years without reading it.  Now, it was time.

Some parts of this book show their age.  There is a section at the end about medications that is, well, 30 years old.  Most of today's popular anti-depressants didn't even exist then and aren't listed.  That's an extreme example, but there were definitely parts that made me realize this book was written a while ago.  Also, I didn't always appreciate Dr. Burns's writing style.  Two examples of things that didn't work for me:

Does that sound like heresy or stupidity to you?  If you think I'm contradicting the obvious, you may feel like burning this book or throwing it down in disgust.  If so, I dare you to read on...


Harriet mastered the...Method quickly and reported a dramatic change in her mood and outlook because it gave her a simple, effective way to handle a problem that had been very real and overwhelming.  When she returned for the next session, her depression - which had crippled her for over a decade - had lifted and was entirely gone.


Okay, seriously?  Over a decade of crippling depression gone just like that?  I had a hard time swallowing that.

Now, criticism out of the way, this is a good book in a lot of ways.  There are real, honest to goodness things that you can do to help.  My personal belief is that depression and moods aren't caused by any one thing necessarily; brain chemistry can be a factor.  Foods (like sugar, especially) can be a factor.  Exercise can be a factor.  And what's discussed in this book can be a major factor - but one factor.  That's just my opinion.  I got some good stuff out of this book, though.  I noticed that even just in reading it, when I'd put it down for the day, I would be feeling a little better - without doing any of the exercises.  Just by reading about them and how to do them.  And I think that that says a lot.

There's also a self-assessment test in one part that shows me that I am emotionally strongest in the categories of Achievement, Perfectionism, Entitlement and Omnipotence...and that I'm emotionally the most vulnerable in the categories of Approval, Love and Autonomy.  Close to what I would have guessed, but maybe not an exact match; and this is good to know, since it helps me see where I excel and where I don't.

All in all - a book worth reading for anyone with depression, currently or previously.  It can be one powerful aspect of dealing with it.

Old Filth - Jane Gardam

A few posts back, the one for David Copperfield, I mentioned having seen a book reviewer in Chestertown.  Well, this same woman said that one of her favorite more recent books was one called The Man in the Wooden Hat.  I went to get it and discovered that it's a follow up to this book, Old Filth.  So I figured I'd start with this one.

It's the story of Teddy, or Eddie, or Sir Edward Feathers, or Old Filth...he answers to them all at one point or another.  Born in southeast Asia, sent at a young age back to mother England to be raised there away from everyone he knows, later to become a very well known and well respected lawyer in Hong Kong - this is his story.  From his childhood - well, from his birth, really - all the way through his death.  But not told chronologically...more thematically, I guess you could say.  Or episodically.  Which, to me, makes it all the more interesting.

I enjoyed this book - not just getting to know Old Filth and those around him, but for getting some glimpses into cultures and countries over the span of a lifetime.  I'm looking forward to reading The Man in the Wooden Hat, which I believe is a companion novel, really...told from the point of view of his wife.  I'll let you know after I read it.

Rut - Scott Phillips

This is the latest installment from Concord Free Press, a great idea that's long overdue.  Essentially, they publish a limited amount of each book and give them away - for free.  Then the recipients (such as myself) read the book, donate money to a charity/organization of my choice, log onto their site and let them know where I've donated along with my book number.  Then I pass the book on - again for free - to someone who will do the same.  And we all get to read good books and help others.  I like it.  But go check out their website, they describe it better than I do.

Anyway, the latest book is Rut.  Wow.  This would be a great book for a discussion group, because there are so many questions that I have that aren't answered.  The book is set about 40 years in the future, and something has happened that's pretty much destroyed our infrastructure and has radically separated the haves from the have-nots.  Was it environmental destruction?  Was it climate change?  Was it a war?  It's never stated.  The book takes place in a small town, and we get to know some of the locals.  We get pieces of what this new world is like (and fascinating pieces they are!) and we also get to know some pretty cool people.

I'm tempted to say that Bridget is the main character, just because she's the first character we really get to know, but she isn't.  There really is not one central character; it's about everyone...it's about the town.  And it really is a great story.  In a world where the rules don't always match the ones we have today, I was curious as to what would happen next, and even what was possible.  There was one scene that just really shook me, it was so well done and so - well, so possible.  Which is what makes it scary.

As much as the obsessed-with-details side of me wanted everything explained (what exactly happened? how can people regenerate parts of their body? why is the novel called Rut?), once I let go of my anal-retentiveness (never easy for me) and let myself go in this new and strange world, it was a crazy place to discover.

Don't buy this book - you can't right now, anyway.  But I'll be happy to give it to you so that you can read it, donate and pass it on.  Who wants it?

Mary Ann in Autumn - Armistead Maupin

Oh, I was so excited to see this book in the store the other day. It's the eighth book in the Tales of the City series. I couldn't wait to catch up with some of my favorite people again!

I zipped through this book in one day as I flew down to Charleston. And I loved every minute of it. Spending time with Mary Ann, Michael, Mrs. Madrigal and all of the others...it was nothing short of magical.

One of the things I really liked about the first six books is how the characters grow, develop and change. As we all do. And this continues here. And of course we have some newer characters too. They all just feel so - so true. It's great.

And of course there's some mystery, and some plot twists and connections that I really didn't see coming at all - which made it that much better. If you're a fan of the series, you'll enjoy this. If you're not, well, I don't know what's wrong with you. :-) And if you don't know the series - start from the beginning. It's worth it.